Choosing an Online Dating Service

The problem with choosing an online dating service is choice – too much of it! There are literally hundreds of services to choose from.

To choose an online dating service that’s right for you, the first thing you need to do is find out which features are available at almost every dating site (see our Beginner’s Guide to Online Dating for this).

This will help you avoid the many, many services that claim to have something special to offer, but don’t, are mediocre at best and an embarrassment to online dating at worst!

Secondly, you need to be clear about what exactly you’re looking for in an online dating service. As a newcomer to online dating, unfamiliar with all the options, you might be a little hazy on this front. So, here’s a rundown of the main areas in which online dating services differ to help you draw up a dating service wish list to compare sites to.

Relationship options
One of the most obvious things to think about when choosing a dating service is what kind of relationship(s) you’re looking for. Some services, including top dating sites like Yahoo! Personals (singles dating) and eHarmony (soulmates) focus on one type of relationship only. The advantage of choosing a dating service that’s dedicated to a particular type of relationship is that everyone’s on exactly the same page in terms of intentions.

If you’re not clear what your intentions are, you might be better choosing a dating service where members can pursue different types of relationships within the same site. Again there’s no shortage of choice. At some multi-relationship services it’s not immediately clear who’s looking for what and up to you to figure it out, using the search tools. Others, like Lavalife, make life a little easier by having separate communities within their sites for each type of relationship.

Think about the type of person you want to meet. Are you open-minded, in which case a mainstream service will be fine, or you have a lengthy list of “must haves” regarding your perfect match?

If you have set ideas about the type of person you’d like to meet, finding them in a mainstream service could be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. (By “mainstream”, I mean that members are as diverse as the general population.) Instead, consider choosing a relationship service that specializes in bringing people together who have something very specific in common, whether it’s religion, political beliefs, ethnicity, body size, certain lifestyles – you name it.

Simply run a search for “dating (or matchmaking, or marriage)” plus whatever you’re looking for (vegetarian, republican, biker…) and I guarantee there’s a relationship service to match.