Beginner’s Guide to Online Dating

Do these services practice any kind of quality control?

Larger services have the resources to employ teams of people dedicated to weeding out offensive and inappropriate members and profiles. For instance, Match.com (the friendship and dating giant) rejects about 3000 applicants and 2000 profiles a month and eHarmony (for serious relationships and marriage) rejects about one out five applicants. Credibility keeps their industry alive and thriving. Some services also use cost as a quality control tool, pricing themselves high to deter undesirable members.

I’m gay. What are my options?

Most online dating and personals services are set up for both hetro and same-sex relationships. You simply select which sex you’re interested in meeting: men, women or both. If you prefer to be on the same page as everyone else from the outset, there are numerous services specifically for the gay community of which the most popular are Manline (part of the same group of services as Lavalife), OutPersonals (part of the FriendFinder group) and Planet Out.

Is it safe to use an online personals service?

Online dating services do their part by protecting your anonymity and weeding out people who threaten the quality and credibility of their services. Beyond that, it’s up to you. Exercise common sense, follow some down-to-earth online dating safety tips and your online dating experiences will be safe as well as enjoyable.

Which are better: large services or smaller ones?

If you’re looking for a very specific sort of person, a smaller, specialist service is best because everyone will be more or less your type. Otherwise, your best bet is to go big. The biggest names in online personals have perfected their act and offer genuinely unique and superior features with huge memberships to boot. In other words, they’re large and popular for a reason – people like what they do, and they do it very well. For the most part, the rest are wannabe copycats with much smaller memberships. You’re as well to go for an “original” and enjoy the benefit of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of members to find your match in.

Will I receive lots of junk email if I sign up?

I join a lot of services for my reviews and have never received any spam, only mail which I’ve asked for – details of special offers, new features and other “customer service” messages - by checking boxes on the sign-up pages. Watch out though: at some services these boxes are pre-checked and you’ll need to uncheck them to avoid receiving mail, although if you miss them you can easily cancel further messages at the site or by clicking a link in the mail. I can’t speak for obviously low-end services - I pass them by! - but suggest you think twice before giving them your email address.

Your next step is to find an online dating service that’s right for you. Our Tips for Choosing an Online Dating Service explains the main areas in which dating sites differ so you can decide which features matter to you most. You can also check out my Reviews of the Top Online Dating Sites for a ready-made shortlist of the top online dating services!