Beginner’s Guide to Online Dating

What can I do for free?

At almost every online dating and personals service, you can do the following for free: sign up, browse through profiles, post a profile yourself, use search and matchmaking tools, take personality tests, and so on, without sending a dime. Most have some free but limited communications options, so members can signal their interest to each other. These usually take the form of preset flirty messages, icons and so on, which don’t let you say much, if anything, of your own. However, take a close look at what’s on offer in the way of free communications – some sites, Lavalife included, are much more generous than others.

When do I have to pay?

You’ll need to subscribe to be able to communicate in full with other members, so it’s up to you and really depends on how eager you are to get talking with other members. Some like to subscribe right away while others prefer to use the limited free communications features to flirt a little – check that the interest is mutual - before subscribing.

What do I get as a paying member, a subscriber?

The main difference between being a free member and a subscriber is that a subscription opens up the communications door: you can communicate as much as you like with other members. The range of communications options available to subscribers varies from site to site. Email and instant messaging are the norm, some services also have onsite mail and chat rooms, while Match.com outdoes just about everyone with enough options to satisfy any communications junkie.

How much do subscriptions cost?

On average, subscriptions cost about $20 to $25 dollars a month – considerably less than a single night at the bar – or less if you subscribe for several months at once. Most services often have special offers and free trials available. As a free member you can be advised of these by email. Specialist services tend to cost more, because they’re keen to ensure a certain level of commitment and/or social status among members or simply because they do more on your behalf. For instance, eHarmony, which offers scientific matchmaking designed to help you find your soulmate, costs about $50
a month.

Can’t I find a totally free dating site?

There’s no such thing as a totally free dating service, though many promote themselves as such. Remember, online dating and personals services are in business – got to be making money! The truth is, they’re like almost every other service: free, up to a point.